So, i'm feeling this crazy drive to write, I guess, it's one of 'those' nights, dark, quiet and meaningful enough to scrap down.

we jammed tonight, with, hopefully our newest and keeper bass player, A. I like him, quite a guy, been through crazyness and back and now, just loves God, and is trying his best...like us rest. and Ad. seemed great today too, sometimes I feel like i have a weird sort of 'mothering' type relationship with him, or maybe big sister is the better word...i don't know, but it was good.

Jammed for an hour and a half...still don't know when we'll be able to play, we want to get tight and sounding good, but how long will that take, and how long will we be left here? Jay and I? i just don't know, Montreal hasn't called yet..so we're left wondering...and sometimes I wonder if I'm even good enough...I have to remember that God's totally taken care of that part for me.

well, it'll be an adventure I'm hoping, I really feel like I've been focusing so much these last couple day's on the band, it's neat and in a way, feels right, I just wish we could get on with it, start playing places, there's a part of me that's so insecure about how I'll do, I feel like i need all the practice in the world...like I won't be prepared without it...and I certainly can't go to L.A. with nothing under my belt, that's how I feel. But I have to remeber Phil. where it says don't be anxious about anything...etc. etc. I just really hope that everything we're working for is not for loss, or in vain, but in reality, nessassary and ultimately God Breathed.

I pray it is.