song for L

my beautiful friend
my beautiful friend
i am so sorry
this love has to end
the broken reed
was swayed till he bent

unable to be who he thought he was
angry and hurt now
but feeling just cause
to ravage and pillage
the gift he once sought
through you

but you you
my beautiful friend
justice in your hair
love in your hands
will triumph through the
years that come from this wasteland
just hold on
let the one be strong

for you, you
joyfully sent
will sit at His feet
cry into his hands
so one day
no more tears
for he knows the plans

Unglued

the wind keeps blowing
merciless,
I couldn't ask for less
this heart keeps going
as I rake the sky
these questions of why

why,
does this heart ache so much
to feel your touch
it's all just a memory
and
why
can't I feel you near
when will you hear
the screams that echo
your name

 all I wanted was
something normal
something that I could
hold onto
and as I fall
there's nothing to
hold onto
a faded dream
of what I thought
would be you
it's all come
unglued

so now,
this dance that I've longed for
across enemy lines
it's a distant shore
you won't let me
creep on in
as if my existence bears memory
to your sin
but, here's the deep
dark clue
nobody wins
when you come unglued ...

so,
all I wanted was
something normal
something that I could
hold onto
and as I fall
there's nothing to
hold onto
a faded dream
of what I thought
would be you
it's all come
unglued

oh, I always dreamed
someday
someday
there might be a way
to mend these
broken dreams
mend
these broken things
but now all this dust
comes crashing down
it's all real now
the only strength
I have
is the One who
dances with me
in my dreams
in my dreams
dark though it seems
He watches me
it's more than you
can ever be ... 

and
all I wanted was
something normal
something that I could
hold onto
and as I fall
there's nothing to
hold onto
a faded dream
of what I thought
would be you
it's all come
unglued

Trial by fire

trial by fire
we are all just dirty
theives and liars
crashing about for our own selfish gain
pulling up walls
sealing in shame

here I sit and want to scream
again and again

no
you won't win this time
I've cried to many tears
been fed to many lines
I'll stand by the truth
till it's all I have
running through my hands

Trial by Fire
as the flames consume higher
judgements come flying
but there are souls still crying
dying for a chance
dying and all we do is dance

NO -- I've cried to many tears
lived too many years
to turn back now
flames come and consume me
burn an hole right through me
maybe then we'll finally see
truth and spiritual reality

How can I be ~ a purposeful sinner
when you call yourselves winners
there is no perfect or right
we all live now in this night
but the difference now
is I live for light
I live for light

Trial by fire
this desert burns with dire
consequence
and I guess ~
here we will be alone.
I feel alone

This grey
this day, the way
I feel
inside
I try
hard not to steal

my peace away
this peace today

breathe deep
this calm
it's sick
this tick
he just can't help
the pain of it

and the rain in my heart pounds
thick tears coming down
how long
to smother this anger song

will this go on forever
seems like recovery is never
everytime, it burns
just a little more
pierces my the hard in my heart
just a little bit more

so how can I keep it soft inside
these scarred up wounds I try to hide
they chase after me
dark alley every time

how I'd like to slam the door
grab the poison
and spill to the floor
will these dreams keep coming
if we keep having more

Deep Blue Sky
I look up and wonder why
looking down
to see the sounds
of heavy hearts cried dry

laying dreams and life now done
into a hole
dirt dried by the sun
and a box
covered in flowers

yellow petals plead innocent
joy turned sudden distant
seems no sense
just longing
hearts breaking heavy

But up in the plains of that Blue Sky
I know he flys
little hands held high
worship for no more pain
his little broken body
whole once again

How will we let go
will we let ourselves
embrace the new joy
that comes with the mourning
or let it turn inward
callous our hearts into hard
unchanging and blaming
beings

Let it not be so
we need only some time
given to know
our hearts will soon mend
we're not broken
only bent
and this is what our Saviour meant
about sacrifice.

I'm tired of all this shallow
this hanging onto lies
the blood that slips within my viens
longs for more than just
your prize

and insincere flattery
will get you in the end
no home, no box
to lay your head
to torn to sit and mend

you burn my eyes with what you hold inside
this heartaches for nothing
but freedom
you burn my eyes with what you hold inside
what you hold
is not enough
when it come crashing down
what will hold you
in the end?
sick friends

Drum beats

This morning, Lord
forgive me
for when I heard your still small voice
whisper
to love your word
and write it upon my heart
for grass whithers
and flowers fade
but the word of God stands forever

My heart was willing
but my flesh was weak
and I listened instead
to the drum beats of life
rattle in my head

Lord forgive me