Swollen Girl

many nights she's cried
and cringed against
a hated friend
wishing to help wanting
to hold onto the dream
which slips like sand past
her fingers
the nights get longer
colder
she longs for love, lost
pains of rejection
she counts the costs of
staying
praying
living a half life
closing and dieing inside
and decides
life,
she needs to breathe
fresh air to whip against
her tears
drying her cheeks and feelings
up until
all that's left is a carefully
crafted
manicured box
she wants to feel
the way things were in the beginning
but time won't let her hold
onto memories anymore
the bruises of broken
feelings stain her face
but in it's place
the bloom
of certain, unmade hope
clings to her window sill
be still
and know
that He cries too.