Wednesday, January 31, 2007

My Surrender

I feel like I want to write
but there are no words
only unspoken
emotions bobbing
in a dark glassy sea
which is my heart

there is no confusion
no anger
but frustration
sadness
and overwhelming
ache
for a life that I thought was mine

but coming to this place of surrender
laying it all down
means stripping myself
from what I think I am
and everything that I want
bowing on my knees
before my King

it's everything
everything
I give You everything
and even still
my gift seems empty

As I reach into this tired heart
pull all my emotion out
before you
like a jealous little girl
wanting to keep it all to herself

I can't, cause it's hurting me
I cannot keep it any more
it's blinding what I think I can see

And so, I surrender
I lay it all down
spill it out
on my broken stained floor
it's all I am,
all no one else can see
it's me, God
all of me

So, I give you my lips
to form your name
I give you my voice
to sing out your fame
I give you my hands
to lift you up high
I give you my heart
that others my find you
I give you my heart
that others would know you

And I'll wait for your repair
upon my life
I hold so dear
God I love you
Jesus I need you
Spirit, I feel you
and I
surrender

2 comments:

J Man said...

I finally found your blog!

I love this poem/song - it's beautiful.

Here's something I've been wrestling with lately that goes along with what you wrote:
What if the Bible is true? What if He actually has given us everything of Himself? Then, wouldn't our offerings to Him be exactly what He wants and needs because they are of Himself in the first place?

We often feel that our gifts to Him are empty and worthless because we tend to view them with the wrong perspective. We are worth everything that He is because He and we are One.

Rachel said...

Hey Amy -- I can't tell you how much I identify with these feelings, and this struggle to surrender.

Thanks for the encouragement!

Rachel